Flirt Like You Mean it – Meow!
The Usual Scenario:
It’s happened to all of us. You’re at the big party; he’s hot, seems interested; but somehow it ends before it even really began, and you walk away wondering what went wrong. Chances are, those signals you thought were super flirtatious went right over his head.
As someone who talks to a lot of people, men and women, about sex and sexuality, this is something that surprised me.
Most women do not know how to flirt with guys.
Of course, those tried and true (and trite) moves we’ve all been practicing since high school do work on the occasional guy. He’s probably already interested. But to really be a flirting pro, you’ve got to throw most of them out the window.
The Tickle Me Pretty Scenario:
When you flirt, you want something – be it attention, his number or a hookup
Start out knowing what you want to do and where you want to go. Then you’ll know what tools to use.
If a hookup is what you want, obviously, you can be a little (or a lot) more obvious and suggestive than if you’re just looking to flirt for flirting’s sake.
We’ve all read the articles that tell us to lean forward, don’t cross our arms over our chests, etc. And we’ve all done the hair twirl, and the little sideways glance out from under our half-lowered eyelashes. Maybe some of us have even done a bend and snap, or some variation of it.
Time to get real.
Don’t leave him Clueless
The trouble is, let’s be honest, you’re using the same language that you use for business. It’s good, but it’s not flirtation material.
The little hair twirls and other things nearly every girl learned in high school? Yeah, that’s the problem. High school. Don’t act Clueless: it’s time to try something new.
Try a smile and a nod. Even across the room, this conveys a clear and positive message. Closer in? Say hello. Yep. It’s that simple. Feeling saucy? Try a wink.
Don’t Talk To Him, Talk About Him
Most people like to talk about themselves. Answer his questions, and make sure to ask questions in return. Get him talking about himself. Want to really pique his interest? Skip the usual “what do you do for a living” question. Instead ask about his hobbies, how does he spend his spare time, or even where did he grow up. Be prepared to ask follow up questions so you’re not just firing off a question then moving on to the next as soon as you have the answer.
So when he says he loves to hike, your next question could be something like, “Oh, how interesting. What’s your favorite place to hike?” Notice there was nothing in there about how you like to hike as well, or where your favorite hikes are? Yeah, there’s a reason for that. Your goal in flirting is to make the other person feel good about themselves and to feel like you are interested in them. Talking about yourself runs counter to that goal.
New Moves, New Lines
Toss the coy, and often far too subtle, moves. Go for something far more natural. Simple, friendly gestures that say “I’m interested”.
Make eye contact, then go ahead and let him “catch” you admiring his body.
- Touch his arm while talking to him.
- Give simple, straightforward answers to his questions, then ask him about himself.
You really want a subtle, coy move? Come here, my pretty…
The Tickle Me Pretty Killer Move
Learn to summon a blush, or fake one. It’s the perfect response to a bold innuendo, sexually explicit comment, or other comment or action that you enjoy, but can’t quite bring yourself to accept outright. Here’s the flirtatious “blush”:
Summon up a slightly nervous, small smile, look at him with a bit of surprise, then quickly drop your eyes. Tuck your chin down just a tiny bit. If you can manage a quick, soft giggle, go for it.
Otherwise, a soft sigh, or a soft “whew” works. Look back up at him, make eye contact with an expression that says, “Wow, that was unexpected, but I liked it”. Now keep talking as if nothing had happened.
We’re tweeting all our favorite flirting tips, stories and nightmares @ticklepretty using this hashtag #FlirtingTips