You’ve got some hot, steamy travel plans coming up.

Time away from it all in a great destination.

Whether you’re going with a partner or flying solo, you’re sure to want a toy or two along for fun. The trouble is, nothing on the TSA regulations explains sex toys, and you’ve heard some horror stories. Or, you’re self conscious.

“Hey, that’s an electric toothrbush! No really. It is!”

First, accept the fact that anything you pack, checked or carry on, is going through some form of screening and will be seen. Next, accept the idea that no matter how freaky you may be, these folks have seen freakier.

So, here it is, the no-holds barred, brutally honest truth about traveling with sex toys.

1. Size Matters | Sex Toy Size Packing Guide

Technically, there are no restrictions specifically for sex toys; however, most toys are judged under the existing rules for things like tools, power tools, and other odds and ends.

Anything that could be a weapon, is sharp and pointy, or could be used as a bludgeon should be checked as well.

So that Njoy Pure Wand we love so much? Pack it in the checked bag!

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Tools over 7” long must be in checked baggage.

2. Pack it, And Bag it, and Mark it With an “ST”

Place all toys in plastic baggies.

That will keep them clean during transport, and you really don’t want even gloved hands all over your toys if you bag is inspected, right?

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: If you’ve got a toy that is even slightly obscure, consider labeling it with “sex toy”, “novelty toy”, or “personal massager.”

3. Things That Go Buzz While in Flight

Aside from size issues, there are no restrictions specifically prohibiting battery operated devices in your carry on.

Power tools are supposed to go in checked luggage, but I have successfully flown with a Magic Wand in my carry on.

And yes, the bag was inspected because the agent apparently thought it looked like a pipe bomb.

Tickle Me Pretty: Remove the batteries, and bag and label the toy. And then pack an extra pack of batteries just in case.

4. Don’t Get Sneaky With Insertables

Once again, size is the main issue.

Though I’d be hard pressed to figure out how to use a 9” silicone dildo as a weapon, it could conceivably fall into the “tools” category, and as such should go in your checked baggage.

Just to be safe, I always check anything exceptionally large, or toys made of hard materials like metal, glass, acrylic, or wood.

Tickle Me Pretty: Label it!

5. First Class Lube

If you don’t often use lube, you should be. And if you don’t like the mess, take advantage of daily hotel maid service.

Remember that lube is just like any other liquid substance.

Make sure the lube is in a container that holds 3.4 ounces or less and is sealed in a quart size zip bag.

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Consider buying a cute travel lube. Takes up less space and you won’t mistake it for hand sanitizer.

6. Back up The Super Expensive Kinky Stuff

Floggers, and whips, and handcuffs, oh my! Oh the dilemma!

Do you pack them in carry on where they may be considered a weapon, or do you put them in checked baggage where theft is a possibility?

When it doubt, check the items.

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Consider buying two versions of your favorite and most valued sex toys. In the event that they go “missing” while in travel, you will always have something at home waiting for you in anticipation.

7. Keep it Cheerful & Keep on Daydreaming

One simple rule, be honest.

If it happens, and it might.  Stay calm, roll your shoulders back,, smile and address the agent’s questions and answer honestly, “yes, that’s a dildo” or “yes, my bag contains some sex toys.” Remember, they have definitely seen worse.

And any discomfort you do end up feeling (if at all) will be forgotten once you move past security and start day dreaming about your sexy fun time later on.

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Nervous about a bag check through security? Bag up your toys in see-through baggies, and label them. This might avoid the potential of the TSA agent removing your hot toy from your bag.

8. Banned Abroad

There are places on the planet that prohibit sex toys.

They are few and far between, but it’s always good to know before you go.

Though most will simply ask you to dispose of the toys, it’s an expensive mistake that could include serious legal trouble. Just do a quick internet search before you pack. And when it comes down to it, trust your gut. You probably already know the answer

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Research the laws before you go-go. Some countries ban sex toys.

It Happened to Me!

I’ve responded to TSA questions with a simple, “that’s my vibrator” and gotten no more than a shrug before moving on.

The Magic Wand incident? I felt sorry for the agent inspecting my bag.

The Wand was in a bag with rope, a suspension ring, and a wide variety of other sex toys and tools.

When he opened the bag, the first thing he saw was a bright red, inflatable dildo.

After he closed the bag, he looked at me and my husband and asked if we were vendors at the big convention. Without missing a beat, my husband’s response was, “Nope, performers.”

Sharing erotica with your lover can be a great way to connect long distance, keep each other aroused during the day, set the stage for a hot night.

Erotica can even a way to break the ice and share a fantasy you’re nervous about confessing.

What if you could write your own erotica?

Why? It could be a very special gift.

Or an exciting way to explore each other’s erotic fantasies.

Or a way to tell your lover just how sexy you think they really are.

I’m here to tell you, you can write your own erotica.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a “good” writer or not. This is for you and your lover, all that matters is that the two of you find it exciting.

Step 1. Read Erotica

Your first step to writing your own erotica is to read erotica.

Go online, check out some books, read the erotica selections here at Tickle Me Pretty. Get familiar with what’s out there, and figure out what turns you on, and what turns your honey on. Tickle Me Pretty Tip:

Step 2. Select Your Flavor

Erotica comes in a wide range of flavors, from softcore tales dipped in romance, all euphemism and subtlety, to hardcore raunch, and of course all the various spices you can imagine.

Now that you’re familiar with some of it, the next step to writing your own erotica is to decide what flavor excites you and your lover.

Tickle Me Pretty Tip:

Step 3. Remember the Fantasy

It’s easier to write erotica about fictional characters, and less likely to raise negative reactions as well.

Even if those fictional folk are really supposed to be you and your honey, keep them fictional (at least on the surface)!

Why? If you make it directly about the two of you, you risk creating a script and set of reactions that may not work in reality.

Erotica is about fantasy, it’s about letting your imagination run wild.

For example, you could look up names from the 1800s  and set the scene inside your country estate.  Or just take a flashback to the 1940s war-time era. The first thing that comes to your head…Say it, and go for it. Tickle Me Pretty Tip:

Step 4. KISS – Keep It Short and Simple

Start with a short piece, something meant to tease and arouse.

It doesn’t have to be a complex story, it doesn’t even have to be a complete story.

And it doesn’t really need much plot.

You just need the vaguest excuse for things to get sexy. If you decide to write a steamy piece about the pool boy, you don’t need to worry about the backstory, or why there’s a new hot pool boy, or anything other than what happens when he…well, you fill in the rest.

Tickle Me Pretty Tip:

Try out this online plot generator.

Click on any of the green buttons and random plots will appear in the text box. For example, we just got “A forceful 20 year-old woman. The story begins in a lift.” Hot. No really, that’t hot.

Step 5. Ignite the Spark

One easy way to get started writing erotica is to imagine a hot scene, and start asking questions. “What if…” Whether you use things you see in life, or pull it from your imagination doesn’t matter.

The pool guy? What if there’s a new hot pool boy, and it’s a hot day, and he’s thirsty?

Pirates? What if a maiden sets sail on a voyage but her ship is overtaken by pirates, and the pirate captain takes a liking to her? Tickle Me Pretty Tip:

Step 6. Just Write

Ask your lover about their fantasies. Think about your own fantasies.

Then sit down and just write.

Don’t worry about the mechanics. Don’t worry if it’s good or bad. Don’t worry about anything but getting a sexy idea out of your head and into words.

Just do it. You can clean it up when you’re done. You can tweak the grammar later.

Just write what arouses you, and what you think will arouse your honey. And then share it with them.

That’s the hardest part, but do it.

And make sure to tell them that they inspired you to write something hot and steamy just for the two of you. Tickle Me Pretty Tip:

Hello, Can You Hear Me…Breathing Heavy?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Keeping it hot and heavy when you’re going at it long distance can be tough.

Feeling disconnected or a little needy? Try a little phone sex.

Why? Telling your partner how much you want them is great, but doesn’t scratch that itch. Enjoying a mutual masturbation session over the phone may not be as good as the real thing, but it’s a good way to keep things steamy until you can reconnect in person.

Are you ready to get talking dirty, Tickle Me Pretty style?

Taking the Sex-Talk Plunge

This one’s tough to answer. Cam or Skype may sound great, but if you’re shy, it’s going to be harder to really let loose and do some serious dirty talking.

Start with a phone call first.

You can work your way up to Skype and cams if you want.

On the phone, it’s all about your voice and your imagination (and it won’t matter what you are wearing…Or not wearing

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Mix it up to keep things fresh and exciting.

Start Slow

There’s nothing like the first time. You’re going to giggle. You’re going to blush. You’re going to feel silly. Instead of jumping into the deep end with explicit talk, try a slow dance.

Let the anticipation and tension build. Hint at things, without actually saying them so your partner is wondering, “Did she really just say…”

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Practice saying those “dirty” words so you’re comfortable with them.

Warm it up With Foreplay

At a loss for what to say? It may be cliche, but “what are you wearing?” works, or you can describe what you have on. “What would you like me to do?” is a good one as well.

Touch yourself and describe the feeling of your hands on your body.

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: You don’t need to be super explicit to make it hot. Warm things up with sensual talk.

Down and Dirty on the Phone

One option is to give and take directions.

Say things like, “I want you to touch your…” If you’re the one following directions, make sure to make appropriate “oh and ah” sounds. If you’re giving the instructions, follow up with things like “That’s good.”

Another option is to simply describe what you are doing, or what would you do if you were together, as if you were narrating an erotic film. “I want to straddle your thighs and ride you hard,” or “I come over and straddle your thighs.” Whatever works for you.

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Phone sex can be a great time to play with fantasies, but make sure you’ve talked about it with your partner before you start getting freaky.

When I Phone Sex With You, I Play With Myself

This is phone sex. That means playing with yourself and telling your partner that you’re doing it. If you’re acting out a fantasy or role play, you can stick with very vocal sexy noises. “Yes!” “Oh just like that!” “That feels so good!” “I’m cumming!”

If you’re just talking sexy, you can describe exactly what you’re doing and how it feels.

Tell them how wet you are. Ask them how hard they are. Let them know how your body aches for their touch.

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Phone sex is not the time to be quiet. You don’t have to be loud, but you do want to be vocal. Everything from inarticulate moans to explicit words will be a huge turn on.

Let’s Get Visual

Want to increase the heat? Send some sexy pics, or take a quick webcam shot. It’s a great way to ease yourself into doing a video sex-chat. Dress up, dress down, whatever makes you feel  hot and sexy. Break out the toys. Show as much or as little as you dare.

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Remember once you’ve sent that image, it’s out there forever. Trust in your partner is crucial. Or use an app like SnapChat that only shows pics for a brief time.

Tickle Your EARS Pretty

The first time you have phone sex with your partner you may feel awkward. The last thing you want to do is add to that weirdness by trying to be something you’re not.

Don’t try for the phone-sex-operator voice. You’ll only feel more self-conscious and prone to laughing.

Go ahead and push yourself a bit, it’s easier to be dirty over the phone, but don’t go too far outside your comfort zone.

Tickle Me Pretty Tip: Phone sex is the perfect time to break down some barriers. If you can’t say “I want your cock” or “fuck me now” to your partner in person, you might find it easier over the phone. And you might be surprised when you get back together how much easier it is to be a little dirtier between the sheets.

We’re tweeting all our favorite phone sex tips, stories and nightmares @ticklepretty using this hashtag #TalkDirty2Me

It’s Ok to Talk Dirty

“Hey baby, wanna…”

Sex is a sensual experience, from the taste of your lover’s kiss to the touch of their hands, even the scent of their skin, no sense is overlooked. Want to increase the heat level? Amp up the sensual experience with some aural seduction. Yes, we mean talking dirty.

You don’t have to make like a porn star to engage in some hot talk. We’ve all tried it and felt silly, or uncomfortable. How can you sound seductive when you can’t get past feeling ridiculous? It’s easy if you take it in little steps, and we’ve got some tips for everyone from beginner to pro, so hang on, it’s gonna get hot in here! 

Talk Dirty | The Tickle Me Pretty Moves

The more arousal buttons we hit, the hotter the sex.

If we come to the bedroom, strip down and jump into bed with no preamble, we’re not likely to be seeing fireworks. All those sounds you make, little sighs, moans and groans, and yes, the dirty talk, all trigger a chemical reaction in your brain telling your body it’s time for some fun.

Sure, some people don’t like it, and everyone has limits. If you’re not sure about yours, or your partner’s, discuss outside of sex, and start slow. 

Softcore Dirty Talk

Start with things that come naturally, or at least semi-naturally. This is also a good place to start. There’s nothing so hot as the subtle tease that begs the question, “Did she really mean….???”

Start with a softcore approach. Dirty doesn’t have to mean explicit.

Simple things like saying, “wow, you look hot” instead of “you look nice tonight” can help set the stage, and get you more comfortable with sexually-charged conversation. You can also compliment him on the things he does to you when you are getting it on, try “I love the way you taste” or even “mmmm, you are such a good kisser.”

The Tickle Me Pretty Softcore Dirty Talk Starter Trick >>

Start slowly, and start before you get to the bedroom.

After a kiss, whisper in his ear, “I love when you do that.” It’s sexy, arousing, and makes both of you want more. Add a light touch, kiss, or some other physical touch to punctuate your statement and amp up the heat.

TMP Softcore Dirty Talk Examples:

• Nice ass
• You feel so good
• I love the way you smell
• Don’t stop
• You make me feel so good
• I love when you do that
• Yes!
• I like that
• I want you
• I need you right now
• Give it to me
• Oh yes, just like that
• I woke up thinking about you

Intermediate Dirty Talk

Where can you go next? You don’t have to go from subtle to salacious in one step. Taking your dirty talk to the next level means getting comfortable with being more specific.

Now’s the time to start breaking out some language.

Use words you can get comfortable with. If you can’t say “pussy”, find another euphemism, or skip it entirely, but work to get comfortable with more explicit language.

The Tickle Me Pretty Intermediate Dirty Talk Trick >>

If you’re stuck for what to say during foreplay or sex, try describing what he’s doing. Tell him how much you like what he’s doing, or ask for (or tell him) what you want him to do.

TMP Intermediate Dirty Talk Examples:

• Your tongue feels so good
• I want you inside me
• Harder!
• Tell me what you want
• I want to make you come
• You make me wet
• I love how hard you get
• I’m going to come
• Last night was amazing

The Dirtiest Dirty Talk

Still too tame for you? Not everyone is comfortable with explicit dirty talk, and some are OK with a simple “fuck me harder” but can’t imagine saying “fuck my pussy!”

It’s personal and totally up to you and your partner. You decide what works for you.

Adding a bit of raunchy language to tamer suggestions is one way to spice it up. For example, “I want you inside me” becomes, “I want your cock” or even, “I want your cock in my pussy” or “You feel so good” turns into “Your cock feels so good.”

TMP Dirtiest Dirty Talk Examples:

Getting even dirtier requires a little thought about the nature of your relationship.

• Are you the direct type? “I want your mouth on my clit, making me come.”
• Or maybe you’re into giving commands, “Put your mouth on my clit and make me come!”
• Or are you the more submissive partner, asking your lover to do things to you? “Please baby, I love your mouth on my clit, please make me come.” Same result, different approach.

Talk Dirty Warm up | The Tickle Me Pretty Moves

• Try talking dirty out loud while you’re alone to get used to the sounds of “those” words coming out of your mouth!
• Read some erotica and make mental notes of the things that got you hot, and the things that made you giggle. Try some of the hot lines on your lover, after practicing them out loud!
• One way to ease into dirty talk is to read erotica aloud to your lover. It’s great foreplay!
• Watch porn for research. Sure it’s over the top, but it will make you more comfortable with hearing dirty words.
• Watch porn together. What does he react to the most? Does he like the moans and groans, or is he more into the explicit fuck-me language? Talk about it (later) to find out.
• Use the right tone. Whether it’s soft and inviting, or firmly commanding, how you say something is as important as what you say. 

We’re tweeting all our favorite tips, stories, and nightmares on how to talk dirty at @ticklepretty using this hashtag #SexyTalk | Join the conversation and tell us what you think!

The Usual Scenario:

It’s happened to all of us. You’re at the big party; he’s hot, seems interested; but somehow it ends before it even really began, and you walk away wondering what went wrong. Chances are, those signals you thought were super flirtatious went right over his head.

As someone who talks to a lot of people, men and women, about sex and sexuality, this is something that surprised me.

Most women do not know how to flirt with guys.

Of course, those tried and true (and trite) moves we’ve all been practicing since high school do work on the occasional guy. He’s probably already interested. But to really be a flirting pro, you’ve got to throw most of them out the window.

The Tickle Me Pretty Scenario:

When you flirt, you want something – be it attention, his number or a hookup

Start out knowing what you want to do and where you want to go. Then you’ll know what tools to use.

If a hookup is what you want, obviously, you can be a little (or a lot) more obvious and suggestive than if you’re just looking to flirt for flirting’s sake.

We’ve all read the articles that tell us to lean forward, don’t cross our arms over our chests, etc. And we’ve all done the hair twirl, and the little sideways glance out from under our half-lowered eyelashes. Maybe some of us have even done a bend and snap, or some variation of it.

Time to get real.

Don’t leave him Clueless

The trouble is, let’s be honest, you’re using the same language that you use for business. It’s good, but it’s not flirtation material.

The little hair twirls and other things nearly every girl learned in high school? Yeah, that’s the problem. High school. Don’t act Clueless: it’s time to try something new.

Try a smile and a nod. Even across the room, this conveys a clear and positive message. Closer in? Say hello. Yep. It’s that simple. Feeling saucy? Try a wink.

Don’t Talk To Him, Talk About Him

Most people like to talk about themselves. Answer his questions, and make sure to ask questions in return. Get him talking about himself. Want to really pique his interest? Skip the usual “what do you do for a living” question. Instead ask about his hobbies, how does he spend his spare time, or even where did he grow up. Be prepared to ask follow up questions so you’re not just firing off a question then moving on to the next as soon as you have the answer.

So when he says he loves to hike, your next question could be something like, “Oh, how interesting. What’s your favorite place to hike?” Notice there was nothing in there about how you like to hike as well, or where your favorite hikes are? Yeah, there’s a reason for that. Your goal in flirting is to make the other person feel good about themselves and to feel like you are interested in them. Talking about yourself runs counter to that goal.

New Moves, New Lines

Toss the coy, and often far too subtle, moves. Go for something far more natural. Simple, friendly gestures that say “I’m interested”.

Make eye contact, then go ahead and let him “catch” you admiring his body.

1. Smile.
2. Touch his arm while talking to him.
3. Give simple, straightforward answers to his questions, then ask him about himself.

You really want a subtle, coy move? Come here, my pretty…

The Tickle Me Pretty Killer Move

Learn to summon a blush, or fake one. It’s the perfect response to a bold innuendo, sexually explicit comment, or other comment or action that you enjoy, but can’t quite bring yourself to accept outright. Here’s the flirtatious “blush”:

Summon up a slightly nervous, small smile, look at him with a bit of surprise, then quickly drop your eyes. Tuck your chin down just a tiny bit. If you can manage a quick, soft giggle, go for it.

Otherwise, a soft sigh, or a soft “whew” works. Look back up at him, make eye contact with an expression that says, “Wow, that was unexpected, but I liked it”. Now keep talking as if nothing had happened.

We’re tweeting all our favorite flirting tips, stories and nightmares @ticklepretty using this hashtag #FlirtingTips

Ideally, sex is a whole-body experience. You probably already know that you have plenty of erogenous zones that aren’t in obvious places. But when was the last time you stimulated yourself with sound or taste? It’s about time you did.

1. Turn Yourself on With Sound.

Think about what sounds arouse you. Maybe there are natural sounds that soothe and excite you, like running water or a crackling fire. Maybe you enjoy a rich bassline that reverberates through your body. Maybe you get turned on listening to the sounds of other people having sex.

If you don’t know what turns you on aurally, find out! Try some of the great soundscapes designed for getting down, such as Erotic Dreams Music by Eva Urn or user-created sex playlists on 8track.

Sex and pleasure are entirely about what YOU want—no one else has to experience your orgasms for you, or live your unfulfilled sex life!

Unfortunately, a culture of deep-rooted sexual repression has ingrained a sense of shame in the pleasure department, especially for women. Here are a few suggestions (and fun products on the market to try) that aim to throw off this irrational stigma, while also encouraging you to be your sexy self! Take that, Cosmo.

1. Lingerie For the Modern Day – All the Way

Not into girly-girl lingerie? Not interested in finding out what Victoria’s secret is? Ditch the frills for something just as sexy.

While lacy garters and satin bustiers are the go-to boudoir get-up, if it’s not your style, you won’t feel sexy at all. Just as with any emotion, if you don’t feel it, you won’t look it, either. The Betty Boop look is outdated anyway. Opt for something modern that will make you feel comfortable in your own skin and flatter your figure.

The L’Agent line by Agent Provocateur line has a lot of sleek & sexy designs for the petite frame, including sheer, non-padded balcony bras that lift and accentuate without all the artificiality of a push-up bra.

The Clementina lingerie Set 

Freya Lingerie has lots of options for the fuller-chested woman that don’t look like you raided Grandma’s or Pamela Andersen’s panty drawer.

The Rosie lingerie Set 

2. Strap-on Sex and Prostate Play

One aspect of kinky sex that the mainstream hasn’t quite harnessed yet is the immensely satisfying—and highly intimate—acts of strap-on sex and prostate play.

While strap-ons are a staple in lesbian sex, many men are now learning of the pleasures of a hot woman wearing a synthetic dong. Anal play in hetero sex is at once very taboo and an incredible turn-on. You can introduce your man to an experience he’s probably never had before (with prior consent, of course) by using your fingers (a how-to post on doing this right to come!), but here are a few toys that will be sure to titillate once he’s graduated to enjoying prostate stimulation.

One great investment is the Njoy Pure Plug, made of high-quality stainless steel with a finger handle that makes it easy to manipulate his sensitive “p-spot”.

The Njoy Pure Plug

For the more experienced guy, you can take anal fun to the next level with the Tantus Feeldoe. Crafted of the best silicone, this is a strapless strap-on with innovative two-way stimulation: the egg-shaped end fits perfectly in the vagina with a built-in bullet vibrator, giving you stimulation while also strengthening your Kegel muscles. The dildo for him comes in many different sizes; the Slim for the beginner all the way up to the Stout for the guy who wants maximum fullness. They even have the Realdoe that looks surprisingly, uh, real.

The Tantus Feeldoe Slim 

3. Feel the Burn – Wax on, Sex Off

There are countless horror stories of couples trying their best to ignite their love life with the well-known sensual use of candle wax, only to be burned, turned off, and left with a huge mess to clean up.

While skilled use of regular candles can be very sexy, it’s not the best option if you and your lover are new to kink (unless you identify as sadomasochists; then by all means, wax on!).

If you’re looking to light up your play time, The Earthly Body Suntouched 3-in-1 Candle is your best bet. They are 100% natural soy-based candles that are also moisturizing hemp massage oils. They come in a variety of aphrodisiacal aromas, like Nag Champa, Dreamsicle, and Naked in the Woods (my personal favorite). They get scintillatingly warm, but not scalding. After the fun is over, just rub in the excess oil and let your skin drink it up.

The Earthly Body Suntouched 3-in-1 Candle

If you’re hellbent on using regular candles, always use WHITE candles. Dark colored candles retain more heat longer, and they are likely to burn your partner even when used right. Always start at least 3 feet above the skin and turn the candle to let it drip slowly, and lower it as your lover becomes more comfortable with the sensation. Put down an old sheet or towel as there will be a mess and even white candles may stain.

Highly recommended are the tall white candles used in catholic mass for maximum control and pourability. The length of the candle is good for making sure you don’t burn your fingers (or drop the candle on your partner!) It might be a bit sacrilegious, but the taboo can be thrilling too!

Stay tuned for more (actually sexy) ways to turn up the heat!

How are you sexing it up?

How? Try these little tricks to get, and keep, your juices flowing all day long.

Dress the Part – Sexy Underwear

Your naughty little feel-good secret? A pearl thong to slip and slide and rub in all the right ways. Secretly, of course!

Forget the boring briefs, reach for something a bit racier. Slip on sexy panties and a matching bra, no one else can see them, but feeling sexy is a sure way to turn yourself on. A pearl thong like this one by Bracli can be your little secret!

Spice up your daily wear with little things like a bright lipstick, a favorite scent, a silk scarf, or spectacular heels. Keep it subtle so only you know the secret.

Concentrate on Those Kegels

Doing Kegel exercises is good for your body, but they also stimulate your mind. Instead of mindlessly practicing the clench-hold-release-repeat cycle, concentrate when you do them. Feel the parts of your body tighten, then imagine clenching around something, or someone. When can you practice your sexy kegels? Here are some ideas:

• Driving and a good song comes on? Try pulsing your muscles in time to the song. Pull over if you have to.
• Sitting at your desk typing up emails? Try doing a Kegel or two every time you press the space bar or hit return. That’s a hot sentence.
• Bathroom breaks. Obviously an awesome time.
• Take your texts to a new level with your partner and start Kexting!

Go for Insertables

Nothing has to be buzzing here, but a set of ben-wa balls, or a toy like the Ami by Je Joue will feel good, and keep your mind repeatedly wandering back to your bits. Bonus, using insertables like these also helps train you to do those Kegels correctly.

Wandering Minds

Stimulate your mind with a little erotica you can read on your smartphone. The perfect lunch break!

Speaking of your mind wandering, a little daydreaming is a good thing. Take a few minutes to tune out to the world around you and indulge in a little fantasy. It can be purely pornographic, more romantic, or anything that gets you hot and bothered.

Be a Tease

Find sneaky ways to touch yourself in ways that excite you. Stroke your neck, twiddle your earlobe, maybe even tweak a nipple when you’re all alone. Try crossing your legs, then pulling the top leg in toward your chest. You’ll be gently stimulating your clitoris with the pressure. A little clandestine touching feels naughty and extra hot, leaving you wanting more.

To Finish or Not to Finish

If you want to get yourself worked up so you’re super horny and ready for an intense orgasm later, don’t let yourself reach orgasm during the day. You want to build up the sexual tension and keep yourself on the edge for release later. If you’ve got a private space where you can sneak off for a few minutes of private time, try bringing yourself right to the very beginning of an orgasm, then stopping.

Taking time to turn yourself on throughout the day puts your body and mind in a sexy space, making it easier to set aside the stresses of the day and enjoy more intense fun later.

Spanking in Movies

Did you get hot while watching Secretary? The scene when he first spanks her as she is bent over his desk is a classic. Or Dana Delaney in Live Nude Girls fantasizing about being spanked by the Don. Who can forget Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in 9 ½ Weeks? For a more intense spanking scene, there’s Keira Knightley in A Dangerous Method. Even the most wholesome of TV shows featured a little over-the-knee action, Ricky spanked Lucy several times on I Love Lucy. We have a fascination with turning bottoms pink.

Spanking sex gets us hot, and ladies don’t have to be on the receiving side. Exit to Eden may have been a silly comedy, but it included some steamy female-dominant spanking.

How to Have Spanking Sex

If watching a steamy spanking sex scene gets you all hot and bothered, maybe it’s time to give it a try.

Spanking Sex Step: 1

The first step is talking to your partner. Whether you want to give or receive, you’ve got to have a willing accomplice. Bring it up casually, and ask if they’d be willing to try it out, then start slowly.

Spanking Sex Step:2

Start with a hand, lightly tapping the the bottom with the palm. The idea is to get both the giver and the receiver used to the sensations and activity. It also increases blood flow to the area, heightening arousal and reducing the risk of leaving marks.

Spanking Step: 3

To increase the intensity, use the whole hand, like a slap. Leaving the hand flat produces a stingier sensation, while cupping the hand for the spanking creates a deeper, thuddier feeling. Everyone is different, try both to see which you like.

After the Spanking

Spanking does come with risks, skin can bruise, and muscles and skin can be left a bit tender, depending on the intensity of the spanking. Warming up and increasing intensity slowly, or keeping the spanking light can reduce the risks of bruising. For most people, a few tender spots and the occasional small bruise are pleasant reminders of a good time.

Upping the Spanking Heat

You can add paddles, belts, or other tools to your spanking arsenal, but one of the best things about spanking sex is that you have all the tools you need right in the palm of your hand.

Want to See More?

There’s plenty of spanking erotica out there to choose from, and with a little careful looking, it’s not too difficult to find hot spanking scenes in mainstream movies and porn. It’s a great way to have fun with spanking solo, or gently entice your partner into some play.

Spanking Sex Erotica

These stories are all about discipline, in the form of red bottoms.

Ten short stories all about ladies who love to go over the knee. Hot and sweet, focused on the romance.

Three hot novellas where the ladies learn that a red bottom is a happy bottom.

Hot Spanking Sex: Soft Porn

Sure to steam things up a bit, this clip includes some nice over-the-knee action, oral (on the girl even!) and even hot sex! Yes, it’s hardcore.

This link will take you to an outside, 18+ site.